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It can be a shock the first time we realize our little one is purposefully telling a whopper.

My partner and I were quite taken aback that at the ripe age of almost 3, our boy lied to our faces. This did not sit well with me. I was just about 99.999% sure that our sweet angel would not purposefully deceive us.

I did some research (of course), and I was pleasantly surprised! Not only is lying not a behavioral problem (most of the time), it’s actually a developmental milestone that he’s met! Little ones who lie are just growing up.

Black toddler hides behind some blocks.

Wishful Thinking

For kiddos ages 2 to 3, the source of the lies is most likely just wishful thinking. Or they might just be confused. They could also just be telling us what they think we want them to say. 

Children ages 4 to 5 “often make up stories and tell tall tales,” according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. 

“This is normal activity because they enjoy hearing stories and making up stories for fun. These young children may blur the distinction between reality and fantasy.”

How to Handle a Lie

So now that we know that we aren’t raising secretly evil tiny humans, we can discuss how to handle a situation where our child is not being honest. It is very important to stay calm and respond without judgment. If our goal is for our children to be honest with us, we need to create an environment that feels safe for them to do so. 

If your little one lied about something and you already know that they aren’t telling you the truth, do not try to catch them in the lie. Instead, it's recommended to respond to them with curious questions and facts.

 For example, you notice the snack cabinet and box of cookies inside are both open.. You look at your little one and notice crumbs all over that tiny face. You could open up the conversation by saying “huh, I see the cookie box was left open. What do you think happened?” Use a neutral calm tone. 

If they don’t respond, you could add that they have some crumbs on their face. The idea is to open up the conversation and give them an opportunity to tell the truth. That way if they do fess up to taking the cookie without asking, you can still offer praise for them telling you the truth in the end. 

Be a Safe Space

Depending on their response, there are a couple of different ways to approach the rest of the conversation. But the goal is to express how you are always a safe space to tell the truth and also that everyone makes mistakes.Screen Alternatives

 If your child leans more towards the fantasy response, like maybe a dragon came and took the cookie when no one was looking! Your response could be “that would have been amazing! But I don’t think any dragons have been in here. His giant tail would have knocked over our table!” 

From there you could work together to ‘figure out what did happen,’ even if you already know the answer. Or offer your little one a re-do. Ask if they would like to give it another shot and tell you what they think happened.

Encourage Honesty

If your kiddo hasn’t begun to dabble in mistruths or has just started to, it can be helpful to start to intentionally create a home environment where honesty is encouraged. This could look like offering praise when your child does admit making a mistake. Acknowledging that it isn’t an easy thing to do and you’re very proud of them. It can also be us grown ups modeling honesty for our children. Admitting when we have made a mistake. Do your very best to avoid responding to mistruths with lecturing or harsh punishments.

We don’t want to admit that our little ones are already being dishonest. But it is a little bit easier knowing that it’s completely normal and actually means they are right on track developmentally. I hope these tips and tricks are helpful in your home! 

Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works in advocacy for victims of interpersonal violence. Her son is almost three years old.

Luminous removes the hassle of arranging for tuition vouchers and helps make childcare affordable. Vouchers can help ease your financial stress. Learn more about qualifying for HRA and ACSvouchers at our Bronx and Brooklyn centers. Payment can also be made by SEIU/1199 Child Care, check, credit card, and through the Luminous reimbursement program. Contact Luminous Early Childhood Learning Center at enrollment@luminouschildcare.org or call us at 929.228.1180.

Happy little African American boy in a pumpkin patch in autumn,

Hi, parents, and happy October! I’m so happy to celebrate my favorite season of the year. It's that time of year for fall fun with little ones. Here are some autumn- and Halloween-themed suggestions to keep your little one entertained.

As always, we are keeping these as simple as can be. Let’s get started! 

Squishy Fun

First is an activity that is great for our really tiny humans. If you plan to carve pumpkins, don’t throw away the guts of the pumpkin.

Instead, toss them in a gallon zip lock bag to create a super simple and squishy sensory activity for those 12-24-month-olds.

This way they are still involved in the pumpkin carving, but in a safe way. And this allows us parents to really focus on our own pumpkins, am I right? 

Pumpkin Washing

Another idea for our little littles is a pumpkin washing station. To keep it really simple, go for smaller pumpkins. You’ll need to grab a container, fill it with warm soapy water, and make sure there you’re set up in an area that is protected from the splashing or is OK to get wet.

Our three- and four-year-olds can really get involved in the activity by washing everyone’s pumpkins before the carving begins! 

With larger pumpkins, skip placing them in water. Instead, just give your little one a couple of washcloths and some warm soapy water. This way they can wipe down all the pumpkins, and get them nice and clean for carving. But you don’t have to find a giant tote to fill with water either. 

Sensory Bin

Another easy peasy sensory activity for our littles ones is a fall-themed sensory bin.

You could use multicolored dry pasta, pinecones, smooth acorns, or even some leaves. There is basically no mess when it comes to this activity since everything is pretty large and we parents love to hear that.

Give this one a try and let me know how it goes and how long your kiddo stayed engaged in the activity. 

Hunting for Decorations

This next one, I just did with my kiddo over the past weekend, and we had such a good time. I realized, I didn’t have any Autumn or Halloween decorations for our house! As such a huge fan of this time of year, that did not sit right with me. Lack of storage space keeps me from holding onto a lot of decorations, other than those we have for Christamas. 

So, I asked my kiddo if he wanted to go to the thrift store to pick out some decorations. Surprise, surprise, his response was “NOW?” It just so happened we had a few free hours before I had to go to work. So, I said “Sure!” and we were off. 

We headed over to our local Goodwill. I really tried to let him pick out the things he thought would be cute for our little home. He found some pumpkin string lights (LOVE), tealight candle holders (one black cat, a pumpkin, and a little ghost), a wooden pumpkin door hanger, and the cutest little stuffed pumpkin with a black top hat and black and white striped arms and legs. They are absolutely perfect.

Extra tip: Bring something to donate to the thrift store. Most thrift stores offer a coupon for making a donation. So not only was everything pretty cheap in the first place, we also got 20% off! We spent a total of only $10. And we had a great time doing it. 

But, the fun didn’t stop there. We still get to go home and decorate with our super fun finds. 

There you have it, friends! Easy peasy autumn activities to incorporate when you’ve got the time.

I hope they are just as much fun for you as they were for me. Let me know how it goes!

Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works as a crisis responder. Her son is a 3½-year-old preschooler.



Luminous removes the hassle of arranging for tuition vouchers and helps make childcare affordable. Vouchers can help ease your financial stress. Learn more about qualifying for HRA and ACS vouchers at our Bronx and Brooklyn centers. Payment can also be made by SEIU/1199 Child Care, check, credit card, and through the Luminous reimbursement program. Contact Luminous Early Childhood Learning Center at enrollment@luminouschildcare.orgor call us at 929.228.1180.