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Young boy in a calming corner with pillows, stuffs and books.

When our little ones behave aggressively or in ways we don’t find appropriate, it can be tempting to put them in time out. However, time outs could have more negative consequences for our babies. Time outs can be damaging for young children with long-term impacts on their emotional health. 

So, what’s so bad about time out?

More Stressed and Isolated

 First, time outs don’t do what they are  intended to do. The goal of the time out is to address a specific action by the child that was not acceptable.  But time out instead can lead to children feeling more stressed out or anxious because they are alone trying to manage their big emotions in isolation. 

Young children can perceive Isolation as having lost their parents' love. That can fracture that attachment relationship that has been built.

 Time out also can exacerbate the original action that caused the time out. While sitting alone,  they might feel resentful and continue to behave the same way because of this.

 Time out can instill a belief in our little ones that they are “bad” and lowers their self worth.

Calming Corners

So, what is a better option? You might have heard of a calming corner. 

It might sound like a watered-down version of time out, but I promise there is a lot more to it. 

The purpose of the calming corner is to support a child while they are trying to manage their big emotions. Children are not automatically going to understand how to regulate their emotions. As their caregivers, we can set them up for success in life by starting early and providing the tools, environment and support to start self regulating early.

 A calming corner consists of a dedicated space with a comfy place to sit, such as pillows or a beanbag, sensory toys like fidgets or weighted stuffies, and soft or dim lighting. You can include some age-appropriate books about feelings or informational posters showing different types of emotions or breathing techniques. 

The calming corner offers your kiddo a specific safe space to turn to when they are feeling overstimulated and encourages them to be independent in their choice of which tool or toy to use for emotional regulation each time. 

Processing Emotions

Over time, the calming corner can become a great help in handling negative emotions in our little ones. It will encourage children to process their emotions while not feeling shame around them.

 You might even see a reduction in the number of tantrums you’re dealing with each week. 

If you want to introduce a calming corner in your home, here are some tips:

  • Introduce the calming corner when your kiddo already calm and can become acquainted with the area. If you try to introduce the corner when they are already dysregulated, it may be perceived as a punishment. 
  • Guide your child through the different sensory items, such as books, posters, fidget toys and stuffies.
  • Explain that the child gets to choose which item to use. Maybe even go over breathing techniques like five-finger breathing so that you can implement it later. 

Long-term Success

Tantrums can be extremely frustrating for us parents, but for children who haven’t had much practice at emotional regulation, those big feelings can be scary.  A calming corner might seem like a little thing, but it can make a big difference for your little one. 

And that change now also can help later when your child is older and having to handle emotional regulation out in the world. 

The consequences of having disproportionate reactions to certain situations or individuals can create long-term issues for adults. So let’s start early and set our babies up for success by working on emotional regulation as soon as we can. You’ve got this!  

Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works as a crisis responder. Her son is three years old.

Luminous removes the hassle of arranging for tuition vouchers and helps make childcare affordable. Vouchers can help ease your financial stress. Learn more about qualifying for HRA and ACS vouchers at our Bronx and Brooklyn centers. Payment can also be made by SEIU/1199 Child Care, check, credit card, and through the Luminous reimbursement program. Contact Luminous Early Childhood Learning Center at enrollment@luminouschildcare.org or call us at 929.228.1180.

Happy little African American boy in a pumpkin patch in autumn,

Hi, parents, and happy October! I’m so happy to celebrate my favorite season of the year. It's that time of year for fall fun with little ones. Here are some autumn- and Halloween-themed suggestions to keep your little one entertained.

As always, we are keeping these as simple as can be. Let’s get started! 

Squishy Fun

First is an activity that is great for our really tiny humans. If you plan to carve pumpkins, don’t throw away the guts of the pumpkin.

Instead, toss them in a gallon zip lock bag to create a super simple and squishy sensory activity for those 12-24-month-olds.

This way they are still involved in the pumpkin carving, but in a safe way. And this allows us parents to really focus on our own pumpkins, am I right? 

Pumpkin Washing

Another idea for our little littles is a pumpkin washing station. To keep it really simple, go for smaller pumpkins. You’ll need to grab a container, fill it with warm soapy water, and make sure there you’re set up in an area that is protected from the splashing or is OK to get wet.

Our three- and four-year-olds can really get involved in the activity by washing everyone’s pumpkins before the carving begins! 

With larger pumpkins, skip placing them in water. Instead, just give your little one a couple of washcloths and some warm soapy water. This way they can wipe down all the pumpkins, and get them nice and clean for carving. But you don’t have to find a giant tote to fill with water either. 

Sensory Bin

Another easy peasy sensory activity for our littles ones is a fall-themed sensory bin.

You could use multicolored dry pasta, pinecones, smooth acorns, or even some leaves. There is basically no mess when it comes to this activity since everything is pretty large and we parents love to hear that.

Give this one a try and let me know how it goes and how long your kiddo stayed engaged in the activity. 

Hunting for Decorations

This next one, I just did with my kiddo over the past weekend, and we had such a good time. I realized, I didn’t have any Autumn or Halloween decorations for our house! As such a huge fan of this time of year, that did not sit right with me. Lack of storage space keeps me from holding onto a lot of decorations, other than those we have for Christamas. 

So, I asked my kiddo if he wanted to go to the thrift store to pick out some decorations. Surprise, surprise, his response was “NOW?” It just so happened we had a few free hours before I had to go to work. So, I said “Sure!” and we were off. 

We headed over to our local Goodwill. I really tried to let him pick out the things he thought would be cute for our little home. He found some pumpkin string lights (LOVE), tealight candle holders (one black cat, a pumpkin, and a little ghost), a wooden pumpkin door hanger, and the cutest little stuffed pumpkin with a black top hat and black and white striped arms and legs. They are absolutely perfect.

Extra tip: Bring something to donate to the thrift store. Most thrift stores offer a coupon for making a donation. So not only was everything pretty cheap in the first place, we also got 20% off! We spent a total of only $10. And we had a great time doing it. 

But, the fun didn’t stop there. We still get to go home and decorate with our super fun finds. 

There you have it, friends! Easy peasy autumn activities to incorporate when you’ve got the time.

I hope they are just as much fun for you as they were for me. Let me know how it goes!

Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works as a crisis responder. Her son is a 3½-year-old preschooler.



Luminous removes the hassle of arranging for tuition vouchers and helps make childcare affordable. Vouchers can help ease your financial stress. Learn more about qualifying for HRA and ACS vouchers at our Bronx and Brooklyn centers. Payment can also be made by SEIU/1199 Child Care, check, credit card, and through the Luminous reimbursement program. Contact Luminous Early Childhood Learning Center at enrollment@luminouschildcare.orgor call us at 929.228.1180.