Finding reliable sources helps a young parent know whether to worry

Like many  first-time parents, I often have questions, and I turn to the internet more than I’d like to admit. Sometimes searching up a symptom or situation can bring peace of mind. Other times, it causes this young mom to spiral.

Comparing my child to the standard development milestones, for instance, recently led to lots of searching and a bit of spiraling until I found a solid source.

My two-and-half-year-old son creates his own words, uses different sounds as names for animals or objects, and also opts for sign language instead of verbal communication in certain situations.

 Too many sources

One day, we went for a walk and happened upon a little free library, where anyone can take and leave books. It truly is a lovely addition to our neighborhood. On this day, I found a book about milestones and activities for my son’s age.

 The first thing I noticed was the word-count milestone. It seemed incredibly high compared to what I believed was my son’s word count. Right away, I became extremely stressed. Two hundred words? I started to feel like a failure, like I had missed something when I should have been paying much more attention.

Right away, I pulled out my phone and started searching the internet for word count milestones. Every website I checked provided different information, and I began to get confused. Was my son behind? Was he on track? What should I be doing differently?

Once I let the panic subside a bit, I sat down to really figure out whether I should reach out for a speech pathologist or his pediatrician. Once I got past the AI-generated paragraph at the top of the online search results that jumbles together a lot of information from different websites, I found some reputable resources that provided more specific information, and I started to feel  a lot better. 

What counts as a word?

Here’s what I learned:

 To start, what counts a ‘word’? Prior to any research, I thought a word was something like “mama,” “dog” or “please.”. According to Brigitte Dobrzanski, owner and speech pathologist at Key to Speech in Ontario, Canada, what constitutes a word is a lot broader.

In her article, “How Many Words Should My Child Be Saying,” she describes what speech language pathologists look for when considering a child’s word count. The big three are consistency, independence and intention.

Is your child using the word often, unprompted and in the right context? It counts! But there’s a bit more to it. 

Dobrzanski explains speech pathologists don’t just look for verbal grown-up words. For example my son loves to use sign language when he is asking for “more” or saying “please.” He has not yet used the words verbally. But, according to Dobrzanski, it still counts as a word!

Consistent, unprompted and in context

Another example from my kiddo is that he primarily identifies animals by the sounds they make. Instead of horses, he calls them “neighs.” Instead of cows, he calls them “moos.” According to Dobrzanski, those count as words as well because he is using the sound consistently, unprompted and in the correct context.

Dobrzanski also explains that a milestone is considered the baseline. The milestone shows what 90% of children are able to do or say by a specific age. Whereas the average is what 50% of children reach and is intended to give insight into what is typical. The two can be confused.

Word count is not the only aspect of communication considered when determining whether a child is on track. According to SLT Scrapbook’s article How to Explain Communication Milestones to Parents and Caregivers on a blog for speech language therapists, the SLT Scrapbook,  “There can be quite a lot of variation between reported numbers for both milestones and averages at each developmental stage…a child’s word count is only one piece of information. The word count doesn’t tell us what a child can understand, how functional their communication skills are, or what their play skills are like. So when you’re explaining communication milestones to parents/caregivers, you can give a number (i.e., around 300 words by 3 years old), but explain to them that there may be some variation in this, as every child is different, and there are other skills you’re interested in too, not just word count.” 

What else counts?

Speech language pathologists take into account such things as how well the child understands others, if they use eye contact while talking, or whether they take turns while speaking. 

Another aspect that the SLT Scrapbook’s article hones in on is that the “average” or what is considered typical for each age is still a large range. Children may fall into low average or high average, but are all considered to be right on track. 

The author encouraged other speech language pathologists to gently remind parents not to compare their child to others and not to focus too heavily on the numbers themselves. Every kiddo is different. 

Eventually, when my son attended his 30-month checkup, my fiance asked the pediatrician for his thoughts. The doctor did some quick “tests,” basically just interacting with my kiddo to see how he communicates. The doctor said that at this point, we don’t have anything to be worried about. Bubba is able to communicate what he wants and needs, he understands multistep directions and what we are saying to him.

The doctor suggested that we keep an eye on our son’s progress for the time being, though he also offered a referral to our state’s free intervention program to have our son assessed if we are still feeling worried.

If that is something you’d like more information on, stay tuned! There is more to come in Part 2 of this blog post.

Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works in advocacy for victims of interpersonal violence. Her son is two-and-a-half years old.