As a working parent, it can be difficult for me to find balance – at home as a parent and partner, at work as an employee, and inside my head as an individual with a few hobbies and self-care needs.
Wanting to spend time with my little one pushes a lot down the list.
For me, knowing that it’s just evenings and weekends that I am home with my son, it’s hard to not feel like I’m wasting our time together by doing tasks like cleaning the bathroom or doing laundry.
Despite those tasks being necessary and conducive to a clean and safe living environment, they just don’t feel as important as my kiddo wanting to turn the entire living room into a fort.
Helping Out
It’s easy to just say we’ll include our babies when we are doing those tasks. My little one loves to be on his riser when I’m doing dishes. He loves to pretend he’s wiping down the table or sweeping the floor. It is quite fun to watch a 2 ½-year-old attempt to sweep the pile into the dust pan. However, there is also a part of me that just wants to get the cleaning or other household tasks done as quickly as possible. And quick isn’t usually the result when Bubba participates.
So now, I’m working on finding a middle ground, where we have special time together, I have focused time on tasks, and I have some time for myself.
Playing Alone
I don’t want him to feel like he is stuck playing on his own because I have so much to get done. I do need to be able to finish a variety of tasks in a limited amount of time, though, so that I don’t end up stressing about them into the next workweek. .
My son is pretty good at playing independently since he doesn’t have any siblings. My goal, though, is to limit the time he has to play alone as much as possible. If I am able to focus on the immediately necessary tasks and get them out of the way, I am able to spend more time one-on-one with my kiddo.
Building blocks of time
My new goal is to find a block of time, about one to two hours, when we do something fun, just the two of us. It could be going to the park or having a picnic. It could be baking a sweet treat or doing a craft.
In order to get the tasks done, I’m working to be more organized about what I NEED to get done immediately or that same day. For those tasks, I identify where my boy can assist, which tasks can be completed while he is napping or eating, and which tasks can wait.
The goal is balance.
Me-time
Like a lot of parents of little ones, I too often neglect time for myself and my individual interests. I have recently come to realize how incredibly important and beneficial it is to take time for myself.
As working parents, it is easy to fill our days and nights with a never-ending to-do list of household tasks and with activities for our little ones. But we need to carve out time to do something for ourselves, as well.
The impact on my mental health is really noticeable when I use a portion of my kiddo’s nap for something enjoyable, like:
– Reading a book.
– Watching a favorite TV show, even if it’s reality TV.
– Journaling.
– Making a collage.
My bandwidth for stressors becomes a lot larger when I do just one small thing for myself.
Personal journey
This balancing act of household tasks, jobs, keeping the kids happy, fed, and entertained, and not losing yourself in the mix is no joke.
It is a personal journey for each of us to figure out what works best. Just remember, it’s OK to slow down and reflect on how your schedule and to-do list are affecting you on an every-day basis.
Don’t forget, happy and healthy parents raise happy and healthy kids.
Sophie Hamel is a freelance writer and works in advocacy for victims of interpersonal violence. Her son is two-and-a-half years old.
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